A Simple Question
by Circuit 347
Summary: Tails asks Sonic an simple question that causes quite the complication!


A/ N: This event was briefly mentioned in my fic Watch Me Unravel, so yeah. It takes place in the same AU but before the whole "Sally being presumed dead and sent to the future and Sonic turning evil" thing. This is just for humor. Also, there's a mention of Sonic being an alcoholic in his past, which is just a little headcanon of mine. What? Nobody is perfect!

With that aside, enjoy, my dear readers!

* * *

"Sonic, where do babies come from?"

A certain hedgehog turned red in the muzzle as he spit out Coke from the cup he'd been contently sipping in Uncle Chuck's bistro one hot July afternoon... before that miserable question. And from _Tails, _no less!

He blinked at the young fox kit and chuckld nervously. "Wh-what do you mean? Babies come from storks!"

"I know that's not true!" Tails exclaimed indignantly. "I brought that up when talking to Knuckles and he just laughed at me and said you lied. I thought you never lie!"

Sonic mentally swore to himself to kill Knuckles. Once he was dead, he'd kill him again because that red little turd deserved it. "Well, uh..."

"_Yes? _"

Sonic clicked his tongue and folded his arms. He noticed Uncle Chuck nearby wiping the counter and sent him a pleading look. He was older, wiser! He was definitely a better fit to give Tails "the talk."

But alas, Chuck didn't seem to get the memo, not having overheard Sonic and Tails's conversation. The elderly hedgehog simply sent his nephew a confused glance before refocusing on his work.

"Sonic?"

Tails's voice snapped his brother back into reality. Slowly are carefully, he repeated his oh so loved question. "Where do babies come from?"

Sonic slumped his shoudlers and heaved a dramatic sigh. He felt his cheeks burn red and his muscles tighten. There was no getting out of this, he knew. "Fine. I'll tell you. Babies are made when-"

He cut himself off when out of the corner of his eye, Sally walked into the bistro with Amy trailing behind her.

Amy was wearing a red tank top and denim shorts, a fit for the recent heat wave that had hit Knothole. Sally was merely wearing her everyday blue vest and boots, but a pair of black tinted sunglasses were pushed up her forehead, ruffling her thick bangs. Both of them were dripping wet, reminding Sonic that the two had been planning to go swimming today.

His salvation! His sweet, beautiful salvation! Sal was like a mother to Tails. She could explain the birds and the bees to Tails and he'd be off the hook!

Tails noticed the two females and ran up to them, engulfing Sally in a hug. "Aunt Sally! It's great to see you!"

"Aw, it's good to see you two, Tails!" Sally giggled as she hugged him back. After a quick second, she knelt down and kissed his left cheek, then his right, and ending "the funny kiss" on the tip of his nose. She looked up at Sonic and smiled warmly in a way that made the hedgehog's skin buzz as if he'd poured Red Bull into his coffee. "How's it going here?"

"Busy, but pretty good," Sonic replied, leaning against the counter. He picked up his Coke to take a sip, but it was promptly knocked out of his hand as Amy lept forward and engulfed Sonic in her own hug. "Sonikku! I haven't seen you in TOO LONG!"

Sonic hacked and gasped for air as Amy's tight squeeze left zero breathing room. "Ames, we ran into each other in the market this morning, remember?"

Ignoring, Sonic's statement, she leaned forward and gave him a big fat kiss on the cheek. Feeling heat rush to his cheeks (again), Sonic recoiled and held the female hedgehog at arms length. "Little too touchy feely, I see,"

He searched Sally's face and found that she slightly winced at Amy's kiss but covered it up with an amused grin.

"So what are you boys up to?" the Princess wondered cooly with her arms crossed and her weight on her left leg.

"We were discussing something VERY important!" Tails declared.

Sonic groaned to himself. "Lord help me..."

"And what would that be?" Amy asked.

"About where babies come from!"

Sally and Amy froze, each exchanged bemused looks with Sonic, whom was hiding his blushing face in his hands. Then they both started giggling.

"Tails, maybe Sal here can explain it better than I can," the embarrassed hedgehog said quickly, sending his girlfriend a pleading look complete with an upturned brow and clenched teeth.

Sally rolled her eyes at him and turned back to Tails. "Actually," she sent Sonic a quick but mischievous glance. "I think _Sonic _should do it,"

"_What?!_ " Sonic gaped.

"That makes sense, actually," Amy agreed. She and Sally exchanged smirks. Sonic knew he wasn't getting out of telling Tails about It. "After all, it would be better for a guy to tell him than a girl... for _reasons_, "

"Okay," he sighed in defeat. He looked the kitsune in the eye, trying his hardest to keep a straight face and give a g-rated explanation. "Tails, when two people love each other very much, they, uh... they... do this _dance_ and it... it, uh... magically makes a baby form in the mommy's belly,"

"Sonic, that's not it!" Sally snapped. She stroked her chin for a moment, thinking. "Well, not _exactly_, "

"That's it, Sal. I'm not going any further than that!" Sonic declared stubbornly, raising his chin and placing his hands on his hips.

"So... babies come from a magical dance between two people who love each other?" Tails summed up thoughtfully, his two namesakes flicking upward the way he always did when thinking.

Sonic swallowed and nodded.

The young child's eyes lit up with wonder and he grinned. "That's so cool!"

"N-no it's not!"

"Sonic, you and I love each other cause we're bros and you're GREAT at dancing, so how about you and me make a baby?"

This statement not only triggered the most embarrassing moment of Sonic's life, but also belly laughs from Sally and Amy and apalled glances from the patrons of the resteraunt trying (and failing) to eat in peace.

"Tails, that is NOT how that dance works!" Sonic exclaimed much louder than necessary.

A set of snickers floated through the resteraunts coming from the customers. _Finally _coming to his kin's aid, Uncle Chuck walked over, suppressing a grin. "I see you're in quite a rock and a hard place, Sonny Boy,"

The poor, _poor_ blue hedgehog rushed up to his uncle and hugged him tight, burrowing his face into his chest. "Please, please, _please, _Unc! I can't go through this social torture! Please don't make me explain you-know-what to Tails!"

Chuck chuckled and held his distraught nephew at arms length. "Okay, Sonic. Nobody is making you," He turned to Tails. "I'll take you in the back and explain to you what Sonic is trying to say,"

Tails nodded eagerly and followed the elder into the kitchen. With the closing of the double door, Sonic sighed in relief.

Then a thought occured to him. Tails was growing up.

It still felt like yesterday... the day Sonic had taken the kitsune under his wing. Tails was only four years old, then. He'd been battered, dirty, and emanciated. He was fidgety and didn't talk much from all the bullying and abuse he'd endured from the inhabitants of Westside Island beforehand, all because he was different. It took quite a while for Tails to open up and trust Sonic.

Sonic hadn't been the perfect caretaker, still being a child himself, but he was what Tails needed. The two grew closer overtime and claimed each other as brothers.

Tails was awfully shy and skittish in his youth. He had bouts of insecurity and numerous nightmares involving lightning. Sonic knew early on that the kitsune was disturbed. So he tried his best to get him to come out of his shell. He held him in his lap as he cried after a bad nightmare. He helped him talk to girls. He took him all over the world on all his adventures.

Slowly, bit by bit, Tails opened up. Overtime, he morphed from a scared and distrusting fox cub to the bright and loyal mechanic he was today.

But Tails also had an affect on Sonic...

Several years back, Sonic had been an alcoholic at the young age of fourteen. Sally knew of her friend's problem and often found herself dragging him home from the local pub so he didn't run into a tree. While most people lived under the motto "Don't drink and drive," it was adapted for Sonic as "Don't drink and _run_,"

The problem got worse. It was coming to the point where Sonic was drunk more often than he was sober. He was even drunk on missions sometimes. Everyone was deeply concerned for his well being and tried to help him, but Sonic persisted. He was grieving over his parents, whom had been roboticized. He drank to drown out those painful emotions.

But then Tails came along. There were times that the child caught Sonic drunk or suffering from hangovers. He knew that his brother had _some _sort of problem, but was too young to understand just what. Still, he tried to help Sonic as he had helped him. He hid any and all alcohol in the house. He held his quills as he threw up. He learned to recognize if Sonic was or wasn't being truthful whenever he said "I'm fine," Over time, Sonic began drinking less and less and got into a habbit of releasing his emotions through long runs by Tails's suggestion, which often involved him being gone for long periods or injured from reckless stunts, but it was a much healthier method. Sonic found himself going on more and more runs and it got to the point where he almost never drank anymore.

He had Tails to thank for that. He always would.

But Tails was getting older. His childlike innocence was still there, presumably from his personality. But he was nine years old and had constructed his own plane. He was taking on more responsibility and at that very moment was being given The Talk.

"Sonic? Earth to Sonic..."

Sally's voice snapped him back to reality. Sonic smiled sheepishly and pushed his right hand against the back of his neck. "Sorry. I spaced out,"

"You should've seen your face!" Amy snickered. " You looked like you were gonna drop dead right there!"

"And _who's _fault is _that? _" Sonic grumbled bitterly, feeling himself blush again.

Sally spared a fit of chuckles before wrapping her right arm around Sonic's shoulders. "Okay, we're sorry. It's just that I don't think we could've handled that social torture either,"

"Definitely not," Amy chimed in.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Tails walked out, followed by Uncle Chuck. Sonic noticed that the kitsune had a dramatic grimace locked onto his face. Obviously, Chuck was successful in the talk.

"So how'd it go?" he pondered.

Tails made a fake barfing sound complete with agast bug eyes. "That is so disgusting! I can't believe people actually do that!"

"And _I _can't believe I had to try to explain it..."

"How does something as cute as a baby come from something as gross as se-"

"You'll learn the science behind it when you're older," Sally quickly cut in. She clapped her hands together and looked around. "Change of subject-"

"Amen, Sal!" Sonic hooted.

"Shut it, Sonic!" she snapped, irritated from being interrupted. She quickly regained her composure. "Tails, how about you prepare the Tornado for our next supply run?"

Tails smiled and saluted in a way that would make any heart melt. "Aye, Aunt Sally!" He exhcanged a quick fist bump with Sonic and rushed off, wishing desperately that he had never asked that question.


End file.
